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Instilling Vision
into your Child © As parents we all want our kids to succeed. We want them to stand out and be the best. Each has their own call, their own talents and gifts, and we want them to make the best use of them in life. I believe this is the sincere hope and dream of every parent for their children. But raw talent is rarely enough. How can we give them the tools, the keys to achieve? It takes diligence and discipline to develop expertise in anything we do. Most adults have learned this at various stages of their lives. Some sooner than others, but it is universal. And our kids need to learn these things as well, but wouldn’t sooner be better than later? Diligence, discipline, doing what is necessary to achieve the goals of life; how does a child acquire these traits? Is it reasonable to expect a child, a non-adult, to exhibit these behaviors? Absolutely! Here’s how we can do it. Let’s start by looking at the definitions of diligence and discipline. Webster’s defines diligence as “the quality of being diligent; constant, careful effort; perseverance.” Webster’s defines discipline as “self-control or orderly conduct.” So we are hoping that our child becomes someone that gives constant, careful effort to the task at hand. That they exhibit self-control and orderly conduct and persevere in accomplishing the important tasks of life. Ok, now we have the intellectual knowledge of what we are after. But how do you translate that to your child? Here is the key: vision. You must help your child develop vision for their life. Instead of focusing on the attributes and behaviors of discipline and diligence, focus on what produces discipline and diligence. A person, with a vision of where they want to go, will want to do the things that over time will add up and get them to their desired destination. Nobody wants to sacrifice and sweat for nothing. But sacrifice and sweat for a purpose can be exhilarating when you realize it’s getting you where you want to go. Here are four steps I recommend for helping your child develop a vision for their life: 1) Take a step back and positively and honestly assess the strengths of your child. Is she really good in art, music or athletics? Or are they more given to reading or math? Where does your child naturally gravitate? Don’t let you bias get in here. You may have a dream for your child to be the next superstar fill-in-the-blank, but do they really have the talent or are they really better at something else? For my first son, I wanted him to play soccer. I played soccer since I was little and I always dreamt of coaching my son in soccer. So I did. Problem was, he didn’t particularly care for soccer. When I let him gravitate towards what he really liked, it was hockey. Now he’s an exceptionally good hockey player and I knew nothing about hockey! So I learned. 2) Sit down with your child at different stages in their life and ask them what they like to do, where they would like to go in life. Starting at five or six years of age, I ask them general questions about what sport they would like to play, what instrument they might like to learn, what subjects they like best in school, etc. Then I continue throughout their teens with more specific questions including what level of accomplishment they would like to attain. 3) From the first two steps you should start closing in on some real answers. Remember your assessment is very important. With your years of life experience you have knowledge of the greater picture, which gives you context. Their desires are equally important because this gives clues about their God given talents and calling. Now when these two start to converge, you and your child will begin to realize what their destiny in life might taste like. 4) Now you must challenge them. As your child begins to get excited about what they could become, they are forming vision. They are embracing a dream. Now to make the dream a reality, discipline and diligence are needed. This is where you can help them set goals. Bite size, age appropriate steps towards the fulfillment of their dream. Each step of the way they must count the cost. The motivation must come from within them. You cannot be their motivation. You can be their number one cheerleader and celebrate every accomplishment along their journey, but the motivation, decision to sacrifice, and sweat must be their own. Helping your child to obtain a vision for their life is extremely exciting, fulfilling and lots of fun. It is a process that strengthens the bond with your child as you partner with them to someday launch them into adulthood. Written by Michael Ambrosio Michael Ambrosio is author of the I Don't series of children's picture books (ages 4-8) and the upcoming Destiny series of chapter books (ages 8-12). He makes author appearances at Sacramento area elementary schools and lives in Folsom, California with his wife and five children. For more info, visit www.lionxpublishing.com |